May. 21, 2006

The Word I Avoid

There is a word that keeps grabbing my attention. Lately it seems to be coming from every direction. This is largely due to the world we live in, which is filled with this factor. And without miraculous intervention, it is increasing.

It has always been a part of everyday life in generations past, but we are in an age in which attempts are made to reduce it as much as possible in the micro, while in the macro it is escalating.

The word is �risk.�

To live, is to risk. And to live fully, is to risk fully. Good things involve risk.

Bad things involve risk too, but they are the ones that can, and should be avoided with wisdom and right choices. The problem lies in avoiding the �good� risks in life.

Some of life�s �good� risks:

Seesaws (Remember these?)
Whitewater Rafting
Quitting a Job
Buying a home
Moving to a New Location
Getting Married
Flying
Investments
Driving the Freeway
Starting a Family
A New Hair Color
Changing Careers
Elective Surgery
Playing Contact Sports
New Relationships
Joining the Military

Sometimes�just walking down the street can be risky, these days. Especially if you are alone, and it is after dark. Add your own thoughts to this list. These are not stupid risks, just�life.

I have never been a risk taker. I prepare ahead for everything as much as possible, stay on the safe side of living, and since moving from one region of the country to the other coast as a young mother, I have stuck pretty closely to home.

I adore road travel, (as you would know if you have read many of these essays) but have avoided flying except for emergencies. There have been a few of those. But I never considered flying to Las Vegas to see my daughter and family, to be an emergency. So, for nine years, I grew to truly enjoy the four to five hour drives. I don�t need to be reminded that statistically it is MUCH more safe to fly then to drive�especially on I-15 between Los Angeles and Las Vegas. I would drive to Florida�or Maine�.or �Russia, if needed (that�s a joke), but �NOT FLY.

I always unashamedly told friends that I truly was afraid of flying. Then one day, I realized that actually I am not afraid of flying. I love the takeoffs and landings, and I don�t mind the altitude (as some thought). In fact, I find it a rather exhilarating experience. It is that I am and always have been afraid of risk. I avoid taking a risk, any time it is out of the ordinary parameters of daily living.

When I had a Living Trust prepared not too long ago, after completing the transaction, the lawyer joked, �Now go out and live dangerously.� NEVER, I thought. Not me.

My Pastor is a true �Friend of Israel" in his heart and in his actions. He has been to Israel eleven times so far. He has already traveled there for a week this past year with a group of ministers and Rabbis.

For well over a year, I have heard him discussing and planning his next �tour� of Israel, his itinerary, and his excitement about the experience. I have just smiled and thought to myself, �Have fun. I have never wanted to go there. I do not fly. I am certainly NOT even considering being a part of this excursion. If you could drive over there, I might consider it�but no way, Jose.� And I dismissed it out of mind.

The trip was planned for June. I have major changes in my life happening in June, so it was not a possibility, even if I had wanted to go.

A few weeks ago, the trip was postponed until September.

Last week, I was in the Church Office, working on bookshelves and doing some busy work, and I casually listened to the Pastor talking to some other people about what was on the Israel tour, and what they would experience.

He wasn�t talking to me.

I don�t know what happened.

I abruptly turned to him and asked, �What would happen to your money if you planned to go, paid for the trip, and decided at some point not to go?�

He looked up at me, a little surprised, and replied, �I am not sure. All I know is that I have to have a $100 deposit in the next three weeks.�

I stared at him for several seconds, put down my work, walked out of the room to where my purse was and wrote the check. I handed it to him without saying another word. He just stared at me with a long silent look. He had been hearing for months about my disinterest and determination not to go.

I don�t know what happened. All I know is that except for a little skirmish with IBS, I feel perfectly calm. It is rather like an �out of body� experience. Like being on autopilot.

I have already picked up my papers for a passport, obtained my passport photo, gathered my birth certificate, S.S. card, and I.D. together and have an appointment for a passport interview. I have started gathering items together in a tote bag which I don�t want to forget to obtain, somewhere down the line before departure.

We are going to fly British Airways to London, spend one full day in London sightseeing; then we fly late that night to Tel Aviv for about a fourteen-day adventure. The schedule is set up to see an average of ten sights a day.

I don�t take risks. I don�t fly. I have never had much of any desire to go to Israel. I have never traveled abroad.

Israel is basically in a war zone. Terrorist activity is a way of life over there. I will be flying on a 747, half way around the world.

It doesn�t even feel as though I had to make a decision. And I feel calm about it. I really don�t understand this. I am hesitant to say that I have perfect peace about it, but it feels strangely right. It is almost as though I am not choosing to go, but being drawn. And since then, several of my friends, feeling the same way, have decided to join the tour.

Maybe it is the same impetus that drew George Bush Sr. to go skydiving to celebrate his 80th birthday. Perhaps you approach a certain age and the adage �If you haven�t risked, you haven�t really lived�, is a growing feeling in your heart. On the other hand, if risk has always been a part of your lifestyle, you may no longer feel the need of it.

Also, I wonder if the fact that I never have been out of the U.S. (although I certainly have covered most of this country)�I wonder if that doesn�t draw me to accomplish this before it is too late.

I don�t know the answers to these questions. I just know that something happened on the inside of me, and I am on my way. I feel neither dread nor much excitement. It feels sort of �matter-of-fact�. As if it all were in my ordinary world.

One final thought. Changes are happening so rapidly in our everyday world, that risk is everywhere. Two days ago I ate a late dinner at a local Marie Calendar�s restaurant that had been robbed twice in the past week, just about closing time. The employees were all ushered into a bock room while the robberies took place. The robber is still at large. What appeared to be a plain-clothed policeman was sitting in a car, parked facing out, near the front entrance. We knew all this. We ate there anyway.

A dear �e-friend� of mine lives near the Texas-Louisiana border, a short distance from the Gulf of Mexico. When the violent hurricanes of 2005 were slowly, but steadily barreling down upon that very area, they hunkered down in their cozy home until the very last reasonable time and then fled to the safety of Red Cross shelters farther north. They had no idea what would be there upon their return.

In the last several years, Los Angeles has gone through periods, brief, but frightening, when random freeway shootings take place daily, for a period of several days. They are scattered, all over the metropolitan area almost as though it were an epidemic. Then it stops. But during this period of time, people must drive the freeways.

Television news bombards us with alerts regarding pandemics, contaminants in food that we eat on a daily basis, terrorist threats, and some type of impending doom on every side.

I wonder if we are not beginning to develop the stiff-upper-lip mentality of the British during the WW2 blitzes. Or the determination that Israelis have, to live life as usual no matter the dangers. When risk is everywhere and on the rise, people can put their lives on hold and find a safe place, or they can choose to place their lives in God�s hands and head out into the wind.

I am not sure where I am with all of this.

But I am flying to Israel.

And I ate at Marie Calendars while the police sat outside in the darkness.

It seems, that at some level, I am making choices.

Text � copyright 2003 - 2008 The Homespun Philosopher

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